Ride On, Lance!

A couple of years ago, I acquired a shiny, sleek blue road bike and swore to myself that I would ride it religiously. Alas, apparently the self-discipline that has allowed me acquire a college degree and two post-graduate degrees has not translated into a driving desire to subject myself to the rigors of physical training. The bike has been particularly neglected in my fun summer of eye-crossing multiple choice questions and endless outlining of bar essays.

Nonetheless, the Tour de France is the background music of my studies every morning, continuing my obsession of the previous two summers. Barring some sort of terrible tragedy Lance has this year's Tour wrapped up, but his imminent retirement begs the question -- who will take over the throne. Here, my friends, are my humble and ill-informed predictions. First of all, Team Discovery will continue to dominate. Many have already anointed Yaroslav Popovych as the heir apparent, but Paolo Savoldelli offered a reminder yesterday that he is already a champion. Plus there are tantalizing rumors that plucky Alexandre Vinokourov is fed up with T-Mobile's surplus of chefs in the kitchen and has eyes only for Discovery. Among other teams, CSC's Ivan Basso will not be going away anytime soon and though he suffered a spectacular flame-out this year, I know in my heart of hearts that Dave Zabriskie is going to be HUGE -- plus, he's just a real cutie, what with all that indecipherable muttering in his interviews. It's all an act folks, he really is literate. Finally, you have to talk about Jan. Poor Jan Ulrich; he's had his best years usurped by the Armstrong Express. Unfortunately, Lance's absence will hurt Jan more than it will help. Lance has always been Jan's proverbial mechanical bunny on the dog track and he seems just a little too happy to be good but not the best. Jan is a fabulous rider, but hungry he is not.

Ok, I will not write again about a topic of so little interest to the masses, but check back this time next year to see if my predictions were on the mark. Maybe I'll tank everything and go get a job working for OLN.