Schmacting

After years of cultivating an image of myself as the non-acting director, I will be making my western Massachusetts acting debut on Thursday night. I have been directing a piece for a production of short plays, and, as happens in community theater, an actor crapped out on me. Actually, I fired the guy, and what a guy he was. In a month of rehearsals I never managed to glean his occupation except to learn that he had substitute taught in Springfield, but he hated the other teachers and administration there. He ran the "Sylvia Plath" committee here in Northampton with the goal of forcing Smith College and Northampton to honor the legacy of his favorite poet, but he hated all those folks out there who ever dared mention that she had stuck her head in an oven to end her life. He believed no other playwright other than Shakespeare merited discussion of any type (an odd stance for an African-American gay man, I think), looked down upon all people who watched television, and could not bring himself to perform "low" humor -- which was too bad given that, in his opinion, our entire play consisted of low humor.

After hearing him insult every other member of the cast and myself and picking fights at every rehearsal, firing him was an easy choice. Apparently it was easy for him as well given his missive to me following Sunday's ill-fated rehearsal:

Ms. Elkins:

Thank you for firing me--although I think it was
nonsense. I never liked, or felt any chemistry with
any of the cast--including you--and that makes it very
hard (I felt my acting was fine). It's the first time
I never connected with not ONE SINGLE PERSON in a
group. There was a lack of sophistication within the
group. My type of personality I felt the cast could
not handle. I never want to be in an environment
wherein discussion walks such a delicate line.

Chemistry aside, I do believe Rxxxx is just an idiot.

I want to be reimbursed ($3.16) for the gloves and the
handkerchiefs if you do not mind.

Again, thanks for the severance.

-----Mxxxx

The guy was a major drain on everybody's groove, so I canned him. Note that he cited the entire cast for its lack of sophistication, which is funny because as he was stalking out of the room screaming "fuck you" at the top of his lungs, I thought to myself, "now there goes a sophisticated guy."

And so now I am playing his role and will be taking the stage again for the first time since college. Should be interesting.